As far back as I can remember I’ve loved socializing with anyone and everyone around games. I remember being scared senseless playing Myst on PC in the dark with my brother. I remember connecting two computers via COM cable to play Star Trek Armada. I remember organizing Halo Lan tournaments for my friends.
That last one didn’t work too well.
These social events or hangouts had a common thread, I was the setup and IT guy for all of them. I didn’t even realize it was a skill until my early 20s when people started paying me to fix their computers. I just loved to get the games going, that was my passion then. Thinking back my perspective was hilarious. I thought it was odd that people wanted to pay me to do something so easy and fun.
No doubt you’ve met someone like this or you are this person. Maybe you’re the card maker in your family, or the baker for every event. “Why do they keep asking for my cookies?” Hint: because yours are the best, wink wink.
I don’t mean browser cookies either, although I can certainly tell you about those if you’re curious. No, I have realized my journey brought me to a place where I can choose to do something I like and get paid for doing it. Hopefully it doesn’t take you nearly as long to learn as it took me. Let me try to help you get to the heart of my understanding.
How to do what you love
I have grown a lot and spent time trying to discern what I actually love doing. I can’t say I had a process other than just observation and discussion. Here’s what that looked like for me. The last several times I organized another Lan party, or worked on a difficult technology or software issue, I asked myself what I was enjoying about it. Maybe to simplify further, just pay attention whether you have a smile plastered on your face. Then ask yourself, why do I have a smile plastered on my face right now?
Observation
It may not be easy for everyone to discover the why behind their happy moments, so let me help you find what you love. Observe and ask some basic journalistic questions when you’re engaging in an activity that felt good to you.
What was I doing?
For example, I might be plugging in an ethernet cable and ask myself, what was I doing that I enjoyed? The answer, definitely not the actual plugging in of the ethernet cable. That would be like saying I loved picking up scrap from construction job sites, or taking the trash out when I worked at Starbucks. So if I felt happy while plugging in that cable, what’s really going on here?
Who was it for?
I was plugging in the cable for my friends, and they benefitted from my work. See, I am the kind of person who loves to give and serve others. When I do that I feel most fulfilled. I have also always been good at puzzles, and some people don’t like those. So if I can be the guy that solves the technology puzzle to bring joy to the whole group, I’ll gladly do it.
How long could I do that?
Now you know a little more, maybe you’ve always loved performing. You could be a comedian, or singer, or just a public speaker. Maybe it’s the thrill of adventure and always being surprised that makes you eager to go hiking to new places or trying new coffee places everywhere you go. So ask yourself now, how long could I do that? The answer should be near enough to forever, or it may not be something you truly love. Of course, everyone shifts over time and you may fall out of love with something specific, like Beanie Babies (goodbye old friends). It pays to remember the joy doesn’t come from the conduit of your passion.
My conduit has always been technology, and that has changed dramatically in my lifetime. No that doesn’t bring me joy. I used to think getting the latest tech gadget would bring me joy. Now I realize it was not getting the a new tech gadget I found joy from, it was sharing my experience with others. Your conduit could be similar, like your crafts, your followers, or your book collection.
The conduit brings you what you love
Don’t let the conduit fool you into the trap of thinking it can bring you the joy of fulfillment in what you do. Think of it as if you were carrying your own child on a wagon. Is the wagon bringing you joy? No, it is merely carrying someone that you love. Don’t fall in love with the wagon, it will eventually break or fail or get lost. It can be upgraded to a new one or it can be re-invented.
For me, I realized that I had been studying a book my whole life that held the secret to this, The Bible. In it there are very obvious themes where material objects and wealth are not found to satisfy. In the end, we will look back on our lives and see our joy came from another source entirely. I strongly recommend you find what that source could be, before you waste any more of your life not knowing.
Discussion
So observation helps, but what if you’re just completely stumped? Not to worry! When you discuss what you’ve observed with others, you will get additional perspective to help round out your theories about what brings you joy when you do it.
I mean, here’s a thought, if you’ve ever heard someone say to you one of the following phrases, you might want to consider some observation.
“Wow it looks like you’re enjoying yourself.”
“You seem like yourself again.”
“I can see you’re really enjoying this.”
When you meet these people who observe you and see the love of what you do all over you, ask them about it. If you haven’t met any lately, hello, my name is Micah. Nice to meet you! Send me a note on the contact page or comment below and I will gladly discuss this with you.