Retro Racing Review Part 2

Editor’s note: I originally authored and published the below post on a now defunct site called “The Cool Ship,” where it ran on January 22, 2012. Enjoy this reprised content!

Racing fans, The Cool Ship is jamming it in reverse and taking you back for lap two of the retro racing review. The focus this time is on console racers, as promised, and I also promise to surprise you with my picks. Expecting Gran Turismo? Denied!

Forza Motorsport - Xbox

Cool factor: ground-breaking

I used to be an Xbox fanboy, when it was cool because it was different. All my friends were playing Gran Turismo from the time they stopped sucking on a pacifier, but my first console was the Xbox, so my racing simulator choices were limited. Forza Motorsport changed that failing and it helped shape the world we know today of ultra-realistic racing simulators.

There are a lot of features I love in Forza, like the real damage affecting how the car drives, Xbox Live integration, a programmable drivatar for the times I don’t want to drive, and graphics to shame the paltry Playstation 2. It was the culmination of all the features that should be in a racing game, in a racing game. About time.

So how does it play now? Surprisingly well, although it’s hard to go back to a previous installment when I have some of the newer ones. When I play the original Forza, it is to remember where the franchise started or load my saved cars for old times’ sake. I still think it’s a fun game, but playing through it from start to finish might not be the best use of time if you have an Xbox 360 and the latest Forza game, Forza Motorsport 4.

Wave Race - Nintendo 64

Cool factor: tubular

Nintendo has provided a unique gaming experience for a long time, and the Nintendo 64 system is a big part of that legacy. Game developers were coming up with all sorts of original ideas back when N64 was king of the hill, ideas like Wave Race.

Racing around on jet skis in Wave Race beats sitting on a hot beach any day in my book. I almost wet myself I had so much fun playing this. I’m serious, it’s almost hard to believe how great the water looks, and the jet skis handle as they should. Stay on the throttle and you’ll make it through any turn the game throws at you.

The inclusion of arcade-esque voiceovers and lots of tracks and difficulty settings offer excellent immersion for players. I say this because my inner game designer kept identifying all the great design choices while I was playing. Things like giant yellow and red buoys for clear direction and audible cues make it an easy game to pick up, and you can play with a friend too.

If I had friends I totally would have done that.

Wipeout - Playstation

Cool factor: faaaaast

I’m pretty sure George Lucas got his idea for pod racing from this game. If not, then it was quite a coincidence, and it was one of the only redeeming qualities of an otherwise childish movie.

To the point, Wipeout is a white knuckle high speed racing game based on the idea that the vehicles can float, go hundreds of miles per hour, and take no damage when hitting a concrete wall. That last part is by far my favorite.

If you get used to the reaction times needed to play this game smoothly, or you just memorize tracks well, you’ll like this game. I prefer my tracks more open and with fewer concrete walls but I still find much to like in Wipeout. To me it plays just like Mario Kart, but it’s aimed more at adults with its techno, adrenaline rush kind of style.

Quantum Redshift on Xbox gets an honorable mention below Wipeout. It’s essentially the same thing but with better graphics and more open tracks. You might like it if you feel confined in Wipeout like me or if you have always preferred pod racing.

Beetle Adventure Racing - Nintendo 64

Cool factor: cute?

I said a bad word, guys aren’t supposed to say cute. My bad. There really isn’t another way to describe this game though. It’s practically a girl racer’s dream with its colorful art style, collectible items, and Volkswagen Beetles, everywhere.

It does not pain me to say, I loved this game when it came out. Finding all the hidden boxes and unlocking outlandishly colored Beetles was nothing short of an obsession for me as a kid.

As not so much of a kid, I still think it’s a decent game if you can believe it. It may not be one of the triple-A titles like Diddy Kong Racing or Mario Kart 64, but the hilarity and entertainment value is a definite plus. If you have this game already or you feel like trying something different on your N64, give this a try.

It’s not like anyone will see that you’re driving a Beetle.

Destruction Derby 64 - Nintendo 64

Cool factor: migraines

Are you taking anger management classes? Do you have a handyman on retainer for the holes you punch in your apartment walls? The solution is easy, just play Destruction Derby where the point of the game is to hit things.

Technically, you have to hit things just right or you might lose, but I don’t think you need to put that much thought into it. I never put much time into this game when it was new and I didn’t put much time in now either. There’s just only so much metal crunching I can take. I’m not going to recommend this game to the masses (all three of you) simply because it feels like a gimmick.

Please don’t break down my door, we can talk through this. You can use the comments below or hit me up on Facebook.