Retro Review - Altered Beast

Editor’s note: I originally authored and published the below post on a now defunct site called “The Cool Ship,” where it ran on December 5, 2011. Enjoy this reprised content!

Less of a game and more a coin-dropper, Altered Beast steals your money and laughs, “welcome to your doom!”

Summary

We’re going back to 1988 this week in retro, a time when arcades were still frequented despite Nintendo’s home gaming console hitting the market. You can imagine the arcade owners were starting to worry about their customers now that video games were infiltrating homes and becoming more popular. That’s when our game, Altered Beast, enters the fray.

I can start by saying, don’t resurrect your old arcade cabinet in your man-cave just to replay this game, uh, like I did. I wanted to experience the game in its original form, hoping it would provide the most enjoyable experience possible. Plus the arcade version has all five levels and cooperative play, if you have enough coins handy.

Meant to be a simple side-scrolling fighter, Altered Beast pits you against the demons of hell using only your fists and feet. If you manage to kill special beasts and confiscate the orb of power they leave behind, you harness the power of Zeus to kill with ease. After three power ups you take a mystical form with special moves depending on what level you’re on: a werewolf, a weredragon, a werebear, a weretiger and another werewolf.

The boss fights don’t trigger unless you are in were-form, so if you can’t steal orbs of power, you are literally doomed to play the level forever in your very own circle of hell. I hope you brought enough quarters. Before I slash the game any further, let me reminisce about days gone by when I idolized Zeus’ altered servant.

The nostalgic perspective

As a young boy of only three, I was compelled by a mystical force to watch my older brother and cousins playing Altered Beast. The fantastic creatures and god-like voice effects burned powerful images into my imagination that will remain forever. In my raw, power-up lacking form however, I was not allowed to play, instead finding myself inadequate against the physical obstacle known as big brother. Besides, my parents would have used their werewolf form on my backside if they found out I had played a violent video game.

I decided to play Altered Beast now that I’m old enough, but I wondered before assembling my arcade cabinet if I would feel the power of the gods through the arcade stick. Was it just my vivid imagination, or would I be imbued with the might of Zeus?

The now perspective

The controls were precise, the sound was beyond its time, and the graphics looked great due to some neat effects. Altered Beast was on track to becoming a favorite of past and future, but then I played then game. Despite my glee over arcade cabinet authenticity, the game turned out to be nothing more than a quarter machine that doesn’t return change. If one or two people were really serious about beating the entire game on their first try, they would easily need 30-50 quarters depending on their skill level.

Part of what makes a game fun for me, whether new or old, is the complete package. Story, graphics, gameplay, they all need to fit and lure me into the game world. Altered Beast doesn’t have a story, unless you count confusing pictures between levels. They played out something like this, “oh no, Zeus’ daughter and the bad guy got together! Now there’s a bird? Oh no, the bad guy is going to crucify the bird! I need more quarters! I saved the girl? How did I…”

Final conclusion

If you’re going to play Altered Beast, I suggest you find a friend and at least have a good laugh while you’re playing. The magic of the were-beasts is gone, probably scared away by all the silver colored orbs that were dropped in the arcade box.